only in japan..

Just realised how much I spent on chocolates... about $100 NZ. Of course not for me, but for a good friend that often sends to me the best rice there is - natural, organic brown (and white) rice - all 10kgs of it too. In Japan, it is not expected (well I guess it is in a way), to give a gift after receiving a gift. Often people would prefer to pay in cash of what someone wants from a friend, however, most of the time, cash wouldn't be accepted, and that is where one has to go through and choose an appropriate gift to return their kindness. So I chose Godiva chocolates, hoping that they will enjoy them. It is always hard to try and decide on how much to spend and what to buy exactly.. I always think that you can't go that wrong with food.. at least it get's eaten, and if you really don't like it that much, then you can always just give it away to someone else! (Is it bad luck to give away a present as a present??) Nothing worse than receiving something that you don't like and then you have the agonizing task of not knowing what to do with it... Definitely been down that road before - as everyone has I am sure.


They have some great gift giving strategies over here where you can buy cash certificates from a department store. A great idea to give to someone that has everything. If worse comes to worse then at least they can go and spend it at the supermarket at the department store! And it's not just at that ONE department store, but all of them throughout the country, ranging from travel packages, food to clothing and concert tickets. I have yet to receive this kind of gift, but, hey if anyone needs to return a favour to me, these department tickets are the way to go! And they are very easy to carry around.. unlike presents.



This week the weather has changed to quite a wintery spell. The far west of Japan has had a large dumping of snow. Very unusual at this time of the year. Will be pleased that the cherry blossoms are blooming and this weekend will be the "official hanami parties" or "viewing" that will be taking place. Therefore, avoid the parks with the beautiful blossoms, unless you like the crowds and want to keep up with tradition. Me, well, have been invited to a couple of hanami parties, however, depending on the weather and whether I can fit in everything that needs to be done before the hanami viewing. Incidentally, was walking around this morning in Tokyo University and there was an amazing cherry blossom tree. I never knew that it existed till this morning.

As much as the cherry blossoms are a girly thing (perhaps not considered in this country), I was very impressed with them and did feel in awe of their subtle beauty.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
John Keats

warmer days, sleepier mornings

Seems that the days are getting warmer, therefore it should be easier to wake up and feel fresh.. however, it seems to be having the opposite effect on me and find myself getting out of bed later than usual! Is it just me or are other's feeling the same too? Change of season perhaps and the body is still getting used to it? Although this morning has been a bit slowish than normal, I have been finding myself more active than usual. Went swimming twice, salsa lesson and also attended yoga as well as meeting up with good friend Z for a chat about life. Amazing what one can fit into the week when one organises their time efficiently. And this is coming from someone that doesn't like to make time committments or planning ahead.

Watched an interesting documentary/drama on two sisters that were separated from each other last night. One was sent to Brazil and the other stayed in Japan. The story covers each other's lives and the hardship of working and growing coffee beans. Makes one office life work seem luxourious compared to the daily toil they had to go through.

Other things.. bought the latest Vodafone mobile - apparently the world's slimmest phone! It is very cool indeed. I am still using Docomo since the discount is too great to give up... Vodafone is handy when I go overseas, and planning to go to Sicily, Rome and Tuscany in July! Looking forward to that. Before that though, must finish my report which I really must make a good start on. Might have to go plonk myself in a library and sit there with my PC and just type. Sounds daunting, and I really wonder if I can write 8000 words on the topic I have chosen.

Sunday, enjoyed helping a friend decide on their new apartment's interior.. choosing curtains, lights and rugs. Definitely is a lot harder than I thought, as you really have to think of what they have in mind and not just what your opinion is. The ironic thing is, is that they ask you to decide what is suitable for their apartment.

Whosoever wishes to know about the world must learn about it in its particular details.
Knowledge is not intelligence. In searching for the truth be ready for the unexpected.
Change alone is unchanging. The same road goes both up and down.
The beginning of a circle is also its end. Not I, but the world says it: all is one.
And yet everything comes in season.
Heraklietos of Ephesos

working life...

Another day has almost passed, well for me it has since I will be out of the office around 5.30. For most salarymen (and women) it is like a dream to finish at this time in the typical Japanese office. Whether it is due to the overload of work that they have or just the time they have to pass and follow suit with the other subordinates, the result is still the same, they work until the last train or out of the office around 10 (if they are lucky). This seems to be a common situation with most employees. Obviously, some people love to work and really enjoy their work - a kind of a hobby at the same time, although I would expect that this would be around 20%, correct me if I am wrong, please. I view work that it should be enjoyed, but you should also have a life after work that you can participate in the activities that you would like to do as well as spending time with friends and family. Although, on the other hand in Tokyo, I think a lot of people (particulary men), stay in their offices to avoid the stresses of family life and prefer the peace and quiet (?) of the office and the freedom. As you can guess, land is a premium in Tokyo, as in most large cities, therefore making houses, apartments small and cramped and without the privacy one may desire. Not really all that busy at work, but "staying late at the office due to work" is a good excuse as any.

Without work, one doesn't feel needed in society, yet with it, one feels the sense of restrictedness and the wall of rules and obligation to the company. The Japanese seem to like the suffering that goes along with work - the long commute, the rules of office, the cramped layout of desks, the dull interior, the annoying superiors, the sacrifice of the true desire of love...
the list goes on. There are so many instances that I see around me that seems to epitomise the suffering that goes in Tokyo (or Japan). The suffering only stops when they (Japanese) realise this, and usually this is portrayed as too late.

You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.
Hermann Hesse

gusty night

Sure was a gusty night in Tokyo. The cover on my mountain bike rattled so much I was woken up by it around 2am! Arghh... Funny how you can't see the wind but it seems scary when you hear it. Perhaps that is what makes it scary?.. Much prefer the rain I think. Reminds me when I lived back home in NZ and we would get these very blustery nor-wester days. So hot and windy. Here it is the south easterly winds that have the same effect. Thank goodness, Tokyo doesn't get that many of them. One great thing about this stormy kind of weather, that it does make an excellent cleaner.

Clearing all the pollution from the air. Took this photo this morning from the office. Could see Mt Fuji (still covered in snow!!) in the distance.

Have decided to change my apartment slightly - involving more vivid colours. I have always had a very natural earthy type of interior, however this time I think I am going to add splashes of colour here and there, starting with towels in the bathroom and a lovely new durvet for my futon. Now it is just a matter of finding exactly what I want to fit where I want in the small space I have. Can only rearrange things so much with the furniture you have.

Finally paid for my U2 concert tickets! It has been quite a mission as I have been meaning to download them via a certain convenience store for quite some time (about two months!) I must say that I'm looking forward to the concert. It will be my first real concert in Japan too! Not to mention the first one that I will go to for years! The last one I went to was in Christchurch when I was 15, UB40. Brings back some memories that's for sure..

As for downloading the tickets for the U2 concert, well, talk about confusion in trying to get them issued via the convenience store. I asked the shop assistant to help me out, (thinking they would know what they are doing), and ended up working it out myself! All this after ten minutes. Phew! Not sure what is true anymore, if all else fails, do it yourself.

Met up with good friend Z in a very American "Kennedy" style cafe. It was like going back to the 60's. Had very authentic decor and photos of JFK. Even down to the rockcakes displayed in the old wooden case. Haven't had rock cakes for years. Very rustic. Z and I were lucky with the timing and managed to avoid the sudden onslaught of pouring rain. It was almost typhoon-like yesterday. Luckily, it is getting warmer which does make a difference. Sure was a day for cafe's. Before meeting up with Z I was working on my PC in my favourite afternoon tea store in Jiyugaoka. I still swear they have the best devonshire tea in Tokyo. The atmosphere makes it too, including a very nice sofa to pass time by...

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Annie Dillard

hot spring - an experience

My friend A and I ventured to an onsen called Takaragawa (treasure river) hot spring resort. To get there we took the shinkansen and then a bus of around an hour and then another bus of about 5 minutes. Finally got there and ready to have a relaxing time however, it wasn't quite what we imagined. Rather run-down and in good need of some investment partners to revitalise it, we were slightly bewildered from the place. To get to the baths we had to go up through the hotel and then via like a cave/basement type of tunnel, filled with an assortment of unwanted junk. Ranging from cheap and tacky unwanted "made in china" souviner goods to kids toys. All very dusty and dirty. The ironic thing was, they even had prices on them! This tunnel was a good 40metres and really wasn't a good start to what we had travelled to. After surviving the 5 minute walk to the outside hot springs amongst the mountain and river, we finally reached the destination of the hot spring that we had been wanting to relax in to. We were very lucky, and we had the entire bath to ourselves. There were 3 other women in the bath, and then when they hopped out, we had the place to ourselves. Kind of made up for the long trek out there. Was very peaceful and we had a good hour of soaking in the water.
The temperature was really cold (-1) and so the soak in the tub was great, but apart from that, there wasn't much else you could do there. We did manage to get some great soba mountain veggie noodles though! Caught the bus back to Minakami Station where it started to snow heavily. What a day.

Was going to buy some nozawa (Japanese veggie) buckwheat (soba) flour grilled bun, but when we saw the lady take them out of the fridge and then was going to heat them in the microwave, we turned her down. She then went to complain that that was their style.. a bit of misleading advertising if you ask me. A and I did find some great dried figs which we ate all the way back to Tokyo (a good 3 hours on the slower train). Am now totally sick of figs. Was great to get out into the mountains, but I think I will really do my homework before I venture out into the wildness again of Japan. Websites, really don't give you enough information and are very misleading. Make sure you do your homework before you go, as one can lead to being disappointment. Having said that, if I was a fresh newly-arrived foreigner in Japan, perhaps I would have been more impressed with the atmosphere, however, being in Tokyo and spolit with the choice and style of establishments, not to mention the service, I wouldn't reccommend going there, although the actual onsen water was of very good quality, and my skin still feels sube sube (smooth as silk!).

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
Oscar Wilde

spring is in the air..

Spring is definitely in the air and today is beautiful!
The plum blossoms are starting to bud, so the cherry blossoms will soon follow!

I had a lovely lunch with good friend Z today. Rather lucky, since Z is usually out of town but happened to be by my area. Went to my favourite hidden away sandwich shop (sorry cannot reveal name due to being a great hideaway). They make the best BLT sandwiches and always serve fresh watercress with it. Popular with the OL's (office ladies) around this area. After having a huge BLT, went for a walk around the park that is close by. Really was nice to feel the sun's rays against my skin but still the crisp air to keep you awake. Time to start making the lunchbox and start sitting outside for lunch to enjoy the fresh air.

What always makes me smile is whenever the hanami season starts, there are always your typical salaryman around looking at the cherry blossoms. What is it with these over-40/50 year old men that are fascinated with the blossoms? I know it sounds negative, but at the end of the day they are just flowers. Besides most people that are interested in flowers are usually older women. Seems Japanese older men are more so. Perhaps they are reminiscing about the past and thinking back to the days of hanami and all the drinking and good times they had. I am still not sure why I see so many salarymen walking around the park admiring the flowers. Bewildering in a sense. As soon as the flowers are gone, half the number of people disappear. So it really is just for the blossoms..

Other activities I got up to over the week -
Saturday had a swim at the local pool. Was rather quiet (rare event) and was nice not to have to worry about banging wrists while swimming in the lanes. It can get crowded - 6 swimmers per lane of a 25m pool. Fortunately, this time it had around 2-3 people per lane. Could even fit in some butterfly in between as well. Still hopeless at it, but will keep trying till the stroke is perfected. One of the things I really like about the pool is that it is on the roof top where the sun can pour through the glass on to the water, which does give you an outdoorsy kind of feeling as well as uplifting. Do enjoy the sun touching my skin as I swim through the water. (note: pool is closed for two weeks so no official spring swimming.) Did meet an interesting character at the pool, an 83 year old lady swimming freestyle! Not too bad either. She even spoke some English to me! I hope that I will be like her at her age. Most impressive and was in awe of her for quite some time. She happened to compliment me on my butterfly which was sweet. First time I have been complimented by a complete stranger at the pool! Times are changing?..

Believe in yourself and others will believe in you.
Unknown

coffee news...

Been a while since I last wrote. This week has been really busy with unexpected work appearing from nowhere. However, that is all under control for the time being. Now have to catch up on all my "personal" stuff. So much of it!

Went to an interesting talk on how Tully's was established in Japan. (For those that are unfamilar with "Tully's" - it is a chain similar to Starbucks). The Chairman Mr Suga, gave a pro-active informative speech and chatted about how the young guy (Kouta) first started Tully's. Kouta started the coffee shop in Ginza. Suga happened to have been inspired by an article regarding coffee in a Japanese tabloid newspaper and thought he would go and check Tully's out. Suga is one of those guys that gives those venture capital companies "the gift" (finance) to get started. He mentioned that over the period of a year, he met around 2800 enthusiastic entrepreneurs that wanted Suga to finance their ideas. (Out of them he financed 10 of them in which 7 of them became successful. My thought is, I wonder how much he lost from those 3 other "ventures"...?) Flash presentations, graphically-designed powerpoints, impressive backgrounds were all presented to Suga. He has seen them all. Being a MBA graduate of Harvard he said that the best advice of choosing a successful key person to run a venture company is to really "see the person" for who and what they are and how they work. Honesty, intergrity and passion I believe are the essence words that would describe the people he believes in. Suga believed that Kouta was this type of individual and decided to invest more than 20 million yen into Kouta's newly started business. Now, just after 8 years, there are more than 346 Tully's coffee shops throughout Japan. 130,000 cups of coffee are served each day at Tully's. I liked what Suga had to say about not who you know or the background that you went through but in the end what you are actually about and the strengths and passion you have for life and for your work. Was quite inspiring. So all those out there, do not give up your dream, but hold it high and strive for it. For if you really want it, it will happen!

As for all those cups of coffee being drunk each day, each minute, each second, there sure is a heck of a load of coffee being drunk! I wonder how many cups of coffee Japan drinks on the whole per day? I wonder with those coffee chains, just how much of a dent they have made on the "can coffee" industry over here.

I still love the individual coffee shops and the intimate atmsphere they give out, but with rent being so high as it is in Tokyo (as it is in large cities), it is very hard for the individual owner to be successful. For me, having a barrister knowing your coffee preference and having a bit of a chit chat is great and for those away from our families in Japan, this kind of familarity is greatly appreciated. Not just the usual standard greeting that is portrayed to you in every store. (Although great if you can't be bothered saying anything to anyone!) Back in NZ, I prefer the indiviudal cafe's than the large chains, however, as most cafe's are for smokers in Japan (and me being a non-smoker) the chain stores offer the only option for non-smokers for a smoke-free environment. Japan is still way behind in the smoke laws and wonder just how much longer when restaurants and cafe's will become smoke-free? Not to mention the rent being huge and building owners being skeptical about who they rent their space too. Therefore only very successful chains can lease the best areas for a coffee shop. Personally, some hairdressers have great spots for cafe's and wonder why there aren't more cool cafe's based on the open-air hairdresser's that I see around Tokyo...

A couple more things on coffee (while I remember...)

A company my friend Z is working at has a Starbucks just for the employees. I guess it has been going for around 6 months and seems that they are still going strong, despite the fact that they can make our own coffee for free and there are vending machines that sell coffee for around a third of the price. The business model of an expensive brand coffee within an office building focused at just employees, seems to have worked well. As well as the fact that Japanese just love brands (as you can see in the photo on the right - the Louis V with the Starbucks) and Starbucks is definitely considered a trendy cafe not to mention brand of coffee to be associated with over here.

Nothing happens unless first we dream.
Carl Sandburg

princess day - hina matsuri

Another week over. The weeks seem to go by so quickly these days.
Today is the hina matsuri (princess festival; literally translated), or what is known as girls day. (**from the internet - In every house where they have girls (usually under the age of 15; you can find amazing ornate dolls. The dolls are packed back in boxes before the midnight, not to be late because the girls will not get married. If the day is wet (like it is today), then you should wait till it's fine to pack the dolls away in case of mildew etc.. It is custom to eat or give special ohina matsuri sweets that are typically of a pastel pink, light green and pure white sweets (pink being the sakura, white being snow and green being the trees/nature). All very symbolic huh... Note: Boys festival is celebrated on May 5th.

For me, well didn't exactly celebrate the hina matsuri but did have some great chocolate cake (Goitti) from Mitsukoshi, eventhough its not really the theme for today. In the end, does anyone really care that much?.. One should treat themselves to something if they desire, whether it is a symbolic day or not. However, for those that forget or don't bother anyway, then we have those specially designed days - i.e Girls Day, Boy's Day, Valentine's Day, Birthdays, Anniversary's... I guess I should go to the temple tomorrow to pray for a belated hina matsuri wish...just in case...

I had my weekly Japanese lesson. Nothing too much to report on that. Just sometimes I wonder if I can keep up these kind of things. Usually I am right into it at the start and then after the third or fourth time, I usually lose interest. So far the teacher has been pretty good, but can see my motivation lacking somewhat. Hmmm...

Did go to yoga tonight. Was a very tough session and my thighs felt like jelly straight after class! Yikes! Hot bath that is for sure! Ease those aches and pain! (And here I was thinking I was fairly fit and strong...!)

Met up with good friend Z for a macrobiotic Japanese dinner. Amazing food, great company and generally a nice relaxing night to the end of the week. This is the kind of food I miss when I am away from Japan. Just take the selection of food for granted and then when its not there, that's when you realise it that you miss it. I guess the same rule can be applied to anything. People as well. To take life or friends for granted (so easily done too), is the worse thing you can do. But how do we not take the simple things in life for granted? Just to live in the moment, to cherish what you have and who you are are some things one can think about. I am still struggling with living in the moment, as it is so hard not to think about the future, or next week or tomorrow. As they say, make hay while the sun shines; tomorrow may never come..

Time waits for noone.
Unknown

a train incident

Holy crikey, it was a cold night last night. Would have reached a high of about 5 degrees and it looks like the weekend will bring snow in Tokyo again.. Oh well, at least after this Spring will just be around the corner. Had a report from the taxi driver that Hanami will be a bit earlier than usual and the cherry blossoms will be out around the 22nd March! How is that for precise huh? Will keep you posted on that one and perhaps even a photo to go with it?...

I happened to go out last night with good friend Z. We were travelling on the yamanote as usual. Just chit chatting about stuff and suddenly the guy behind Z fell onto the guy sitting down on the seat. There wasn't any "sumimasen" (sorry/excuse me) from the guy that fell on top of the guy and the guy sitting down didn't say anything either. I had to control myself from laughing out loud since it would be thought of un-imaginable to have this kind of incident happen without anything being said. Only in Japan. If this sort of incident happens without much of a wink of an eyelid, then no wonder girls (or guys) don't want to say anything out loud when they get sexually assaulted on the train. Even I had to contain my laughter in case not to hurt the feelings of the guy that fell down, or to appear rude and ignorant. Z having completely missed it all, as the incident happened behind Z's back, didn't appear too surprised about this happening. It really must be the norm. Perhaps it is the "Japanese way". The guy falling on to the other guy was done with grace and accepted in a way that looked as if it was normal. All of this of course without a word being communicated. Mind you, rather that than a punch up. That would only hold up the yamanote line and cause frustration for all those commuters. All's well that's ends well is what I say.

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy;
they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Marcel Proust

have you been in japan too long check-list

(via the internet)

You know you've been in Japan too long when....
you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
you don't hesitate to put a $10 note into a vending machine.
you see a gaijin get on the train and think "Wow, it's a gaijin!"
you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there really are in words like 'building'.

when you wait for the first day of summer to wear short sleeve dress shirts.
you don't think it unusual for a truck to play "It's a Small World" when backing up.
you appear for your first skiing lesson with brand new Rossignol high performance racing skis and an aerodynamic racing suit with color matched goggles. And then snowplow down.
you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.
you squat waiting for a bus to come.
you phone an English-speaking gaijin friend and somehow can't bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.
you stop enjoying telling newcomers to Japan 'all about Japan'.
you remember non-wanman buses in the Tokyo area.
you automatically remember all of your important year dates in Showa numbers.

you spend all your time trying to think of reasons why you've been Too Long in Japan.
you noticed 7-11 changed its onigiri wrapping houshiki for the 3rd time.
you find a beautiful way to eat natto.
you are not worried about speeding in the rain, because you know the cops are only out there in good weather.

you think "English literature major" is a polite way to say peanut brained bimbo.
you get blasted by a political speaker truck and think "sho ga nai..."
you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.
you think it's alright to stick your head into a stranger's apartment to see if anybody's home.
you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a roof.
you have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills.

you no longer find anything unusual in the concept of "Vermont curry".
you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
you are only slightly puzzled by "Melty Kiss."
you ask fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been here?" in order to be able to properly categorize them.
when looking out the window of your office, you think "Wow, so many trees!" instead of "Wow, so much concrete!"

when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply...
and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a coke.

you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entrance because you have donated 27 to the JR and various taxi companies in the past few months.
when you pay over 6000 yen for a lipstick and realize a few days later how much you really spent.
you can't have your picture taken without your fingers forming the peace sign.
you think rice imports should be prohibited, because Japanese consumers would never buy imported rice.

when you forget how to spell simple words like "wear"
when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
you get a "Nihongo ga joozu" and feel really insulted.
when you pull out your ruler to underline words.
on a cold autumn night, the only thing you want for dinner is nabe and nihonshu.
when you think that coffee goes perfectly well with squid pizza.
you can do arithmetic using man, oku, cho. and kei.
when you believe that the perfect side dish to eat with a juicy, deep-fried pork chop is a pile of raw, tasteless, shredded cabbage.

you think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.
"natsukashii" comes out of your mouth instead of "what you're saying makes me so nostalgic that I must look like one of those wide-eyed manga characters with a tear rolling out of my eye." you run for the Yamanote line pushing people left and right, jump on the train holding the doors open to let your bag follow you on. Because you know there will not be another one for at least a minute.

you no longer pay any attention to what anyone does when you sit down beside them on a train.
you find yourself apologizing at least three times per conversation.
when you let your car idle for half an hour while you go shopping.
you find your self asking all your foreign acquaintances what their blood types are.
you find yourself practicing golf swings with your umbrella on the train platform.
you take practice golf swings on the train platform *without* an umbrella in your hand.

you're back home for a short visit you patiently wait outside your taxi for its door to spring open for you.

now, how many did you agree with?...

some jokes to laugh at...

TESTIMONY UNDER OATH

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own word,
what happened to you?

Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my
swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little old Women: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little old Woman: No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that
Since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little old Woman: No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made
me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in
years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I
just laid down and said to him…”Take me…young
man…Take me!”
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, “April Fool!”
And that’s when I shot the little bastard.

************

Priest and Parrot

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were insidetheir cage holding rosary beads and praying.Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them..... After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:"Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank.Our prayers have been answered."


***
Castration

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."The elderly! tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?""Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?""Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"Joe was on a roll and said "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman aske! d, "How about some new underwear?"Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

*******

The priest and the rabbi

A Catholic priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"The rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."The rabbi nodded understandingly.The rabbi was silent for about five minutes, and then he said, "Sure beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

*******

Words with two different meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female... Any part under a car's hood.
Male...... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female... Fully opening up one's self emotionallyto another.
Male....... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female...The open sharing of thoughts andfeelings with one's partner.
Male...... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family
Male........Trying not to hit on other womenwhile out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male....... Anything that can be done whiledrinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male....... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male...... Call it whatever you want, just aslong as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female... A device for changing from one TVchannel to another.
Male....... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
He said . . . . I don't know why you wear a bra you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand bythe ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . . Turn sideways and look in themirror!
He said . . . . Why don't you tell me when youhave an orgasm?
She said . . . I would but you're never there.
He said . . . . Why don't women blink duringforeplay? She said . . . They don't have time.
He said . . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said. . . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . . . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said . . . They already have boyfriends.
She said . . . What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . . A widow.
He said . . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

still winter over here

The days are still cold, although we did get a taste of Spring last week. Was only 5 degrees yesterday! Today is rain and about 8 degrees. Where has Spring gone?

One of my good friends seems to have a problem with their brother's ex-girlfriend. Seems like her revenge on him is to get his sister fired from her job, eventhough his sister has nothing to do with the couple and nothing to do with his ex by contacting a "government official" to get her fired!! Quite twisted. I hope it is just a bluff. Will keep you informed on the situation, however, I am sure it is just a broken-heart trying to get even at someone she loved. Being dumped or breaking up with someone is a hard thing, but noone has ever died from a brokenheart and life does go on and things do get better. Otherwise there would be a heck of a lot of unhappy people lying depressingly around town! Everytime your heart is broken think of it as polishing the rock that is quite rough and with every break-up, your heart gets polished. When it is polished just the way you want it to be, you will then find the person that is meant to be for you... Well, here's hoping..


Tokyo is rather dull on days like this, but at least I can see the sea from the window at work and smell the trees around the gardens at the office. Having these two small nature distractions does mean something and does make a difference. At least nature has its presence justling out in between a land of grey dull skyscrapers and rain. Did find a comical bit amongst the concrete and dull day and that was of this delightful named apartment block (around 6-8 small apartment complex). The name, Hilton Azabu. I guess if it's written in Japanese, noone should really notice huh..?

The company's rugby team won their game over the weekend, so the "company employees" all received a free dessert as a celebratory gift. I chose the orange jelly. There were two other choices which consisted of "grape and peach jelly". Honestly, I would have preferred ice-cream, however, in this case beggers can't be choosers.


The photo is of a strange shop (?) named "Miru no Heya" that I came across with good friend N the other day. Had photos and leaflets covering the store. Didn't have a chance to go and really find what it was about, but hey, if you are in the vicinity of Hiroo, then perhaps you can check it out for me and tell me what it is about. It seems like it is advertising for missing cats, dogs and perhaps people?...Quite odd, indeed. But isn't it the odd things in life that make life interesting...

Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient
Aristotle