have you been in japan too long check-list

(via the internet)

You know you've been in Japan too long when....
you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
you don't hesitate to put a $10 note into a vending machine.
you see a gaijin get on the train and think "Wow, it's a gaijin!"
you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there really are in words like 'building'.

when you wait for the first day of summer to wear short sleeve dress shirts.
you don't think it unusual for a truck to play "It's a Small World" when backing up.
you appear for your first skiing lesson with brand new Rossignol high performance racing skis and an aerodynamic racing suit with color matched goggles. And then snowplow down.
you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.
you squat waiting for a bus to come.
you phone an English-speaking gaijin friend and somehow can't bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.
you stop enjoying telling newcomers to Japan 'all about Japan'.
you remember non-wanman buses in the Tokyo area.
you automatically remember all of your important year dates in Showa numbers.

you spend all your time trying to think of reasons why you've been Too Long in Japan.
you noticed 7-11 changed its onigiri wrapping houshiki for the 3rd time.
you find a beautiful way to eat natto.
you are not worried about speeding in the rain, because you know the cops are only out there in good weather.

you think "English literature major" is a polite way to say peanut brained bimbo.
you get blasted by a political speaker truck and think "sho ga nai..."
you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.
you think it's alright to stick your head into a stranger's apartment to see if anybody's home.
you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a roof.
you have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills.

you no longer find anything unusual in the concept of "Vermont curry".
you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
you are only slightly puzzled by "Melty Kiss."
you ask fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been here?" in order to be able to properly categorize them.
when looking out the window of your office, you think "Wow, so many trees!" instead of "Wow, so much concrete!"

when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply...
and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a coke.

you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entrance because you have donated 27 to the JR and various taxi companies in the past few months.
when you pay over 6000 yen for a lipstick and realize a few days later how much you really spent.
you can't have your picture taken without your fingers forming the peace sign.
you think rice imports should be prohibited, because Japanese consumers would never buy imported rice.

when you forget how to spell simple words like "wear"
when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
you get a "Nihongo ga joozu" and feel really insulted.
when you pull out your ruler to underline words.
on a cold autumn night, the only thing you want for dinner is nabe and nihonshu.
when you think that coffee goes perfectly well with squid pizza.
you can do arithmetic using man, oku, cho. and kei.
when you believe that the perfect side dish to eat with a juicy, deep-fried pork chop is a pile of raw, tasteless, shredded cabbage.

you think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.
"natsukashii" comes out of your mouth instead of "what you're saying makes me so nostalgic that I must look like one of those wide-eyed manga characters with a tear rolling out of my eye." you run for the Yamanote line pushing people left and right, jump on the train holding the doors open to let your bag follow you on. Because you know there will not be another one for at least a minute.

you no longer pay any attention to what anyone does when you sit down beside them on a train.
you find yourself apologizing at least three times per conversation.
when you let your car idle for half an hour while you go shopping.
you find your self asking all your foreign acquaintances what their blood types are.
you find yourself practicing golf swings with your umbrella on the train platform.
you take practice golf swings on the train platform *without* an umbrella in your hand.

you're back home for a short visit you patiently wait outside your taxi for its door to spring open for you.

now, how many did you agree with?...